Interesting Developments

Today’s my birthday! Instead of a present please donate to http://www.trevorburdock.com/. I’m serious, it’s important. Thanks

http://www.theoriginalsocialnetwork.com/ – Click ‘read more’ for the video

You get an email from the boss that looks like this:

I just wanted to make sure I expressed my gratitude this week for all of the hard work. You’ve all done a superb job given the crazy deadlines we’re had, and the major workload in general. It’s great to be working with a cohesive team which can pull together and race through it when we have to.

Two notes to walk away with – I’m trying to hire another developer, so that should help things a bit, however more importantly…

There’s beer in the fridge. Bam’s shout, tuck in.

Miles.

The world is changing before our eyes. If you blink you will fall behind. If you don’t understand this, it’s already too late for you:

“[[e]]yy…x

Meh Name Mimi…x

Iyy Just Mooved Owwt Ere 2 Butler && Iyy Misssin Meh M8z Sooo Badleyy But If Yuuve Got A Propa Bestiie They Will Cum && See Yuu…My Besty Whoz 14 Izz Cuming Owwt Ere In May So Iyy Cant Waiit!

NeWaiiz Ne1 Up 4 A Chatt…?…[x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x]“

Courtesy: the best website EVER: http://www.xx-clarey-bear-xx.piczo.com/?cr=5&rfm=y

P.S. I can’t help but add: Doubleplus good.

Luna Outdoor commences this week from Thursday the truly amazing: Read the rest of this entry »

She collects phobias, and her current favorite is “anatidaephobia” which is a fear that somehow, somewhere, a duck is always watching you.

Assumption

A quote form a client got me thinking:

“[In a web form on our site] we have noticed that the Gender box gives people the option of ‘Other’. Would it be possible to remove this, and leave people with the option of selecting only Male or Female? I assume that most people are either one or the other!”

Yes, that’s a fair assumption, but it’s wrong. If you want everyone to be able to use your website, you need to be smarter than that. But what I’m talking about is fundamentally alien to many people that I have contact with. Here’s what I mean:
Accessibility

Accessibility is important. I can assume that most people can see, but we still make all our websites accessible to the vision impaired. You can assume that most people have credit cards, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have alternate means of transaction in your online commerce site.

Getting back to the gender issue, the Gender Center Inc. (Sydney, Australlia) points out:

“Gender is a fundamental part of who we are: we perceive ourselves and others through the lens of gender much of the time. Because gender is assumed to be fixed and fundamental, it can be very challenging to people when a person explores different ways of expressing or experiencing gender, or changes gender altogether. Many people experience emotional distress as a result of their own gender issues.”

And even the Australian Bureau of Statistics is (kind of) starting to open its eyes:

“27. A person’s sex may change during their lifetime as a result of procedures known alternatively as Sex change, Gender reassignment, Transsexual surgery, Transgender reassignment or Sexual reassignment. Throughout this process, which may be over a considerable period of time, sex could be recorded as either Male or Female. In clinical settings, diagnosis codes should include the appropriate ICD 10 AM code(s) that clearly identify that the person is undergoing or has completed such a process.”

In Other Words

In other words, sometimes it’s completely appropriate to include an “other” box.

I’ve always held that there’s very little difference between recognition and appreciation. Whether it’s something we’ve evolved (some kind of neurological synesthesia) or perhaps learned (an infant recognizing its mother will surely feel a sense of appreciation), we’re all guilty of getting the two mixed up.

For Example.

Have you ever, while listening to the radio and a song begins so play, thought “Oh, I love this song,” only to realize moments later that in actual fact you hate it? That’s what I’m talking about. You got recognition and appreciation mixed up.

This Matters Why?

People use this phenomenon to sell you crap. That’s what branding is. You’ve heard the term “brand recognition” – they’re hacking into your brain to tap your appreciation reserves. That’s why companies have logos, jingles, official colors (did you know that Cadbury’s has a patent on the color purple?*) and all that. Of course, sometimes it’s impossible to do this if the product’s too awful; you soon begin to subconsciously equate the branding with the poo. Which is why TV companies change their catch-cry every year. To renew the recognition-appreciation bond.

You have yourself to blame.

If you’re not aware of this, and you go out and buy a crap album that’s on high rotation on [insert commercial radio station here], you’re being duped. That’s fine – sometimes we don’t mind other people doing our thinking for us – but you should be aware of it, all the same.

Justification.

I have no intention of exploiting your mixed up brain for my benefit. So I have no obligation to imprint you with branding or whatever. So I’ll change the theme, interface, even the title of my blog whenever I bloody feel like it. So that’s why i have no problem renaming this site from “Distance Over Time” to “Interesting Developments.” Please address all complaints to Mr I. Don’t Care, PO Box 123, Screw You.

—

* I just made that up. But Toblerone does have a patent on that triangle box of theirs. Probably.

Act One: An Invitation – to Danger

Scene: In the middle of the ocean, a solitary pirate ship rocks listlessly in the soft afternoon breeze. A cloudless azure sky shows no promise of favorable sailing weather. The rigging softly flaps and rattles. All is calm.

Captain Elvis, in full pirate regalia, makes a show of scanning the horizon with his spyglass. He mutters knowingly, as if to himself, but often glances up to make sure he’s being seen to be muttering knowingly. Let this be his character note. Next to Captain Elvis stands his First Mate, Templeton Peck. Templeton is attentive, but obviously disgusted by his Captain’s manner. Let this be his character note.

Captain Elvis lowers his spyglass and assumes an authoritative pose …

Captain Elvis (Ce): Heads!

Templeton Peck (Tp): Mm? I’m sorry –?

Ce: A conspiracy among cartographers! I’ve frequently not been on boats!

Tp: Oh. (Pause.) I think you have the wrong play. One line in and already we’re using obscure in-jokes? Not a good start.

Ce: I’m establishing mood. You wouldn’t understand.

Tp: I understand this was supposed to be a comic. Why are you automatically referencing plays? A sign of the times? Or an inability to create something independent of pop-culture’s pervasive influence?

Leroy Jenkins (Loud): Leeeeeroy Jeeennkins!

Attractive Geisha Lady: C’mon, Toshi! C’mon!

Tc: I can’t work like this. I quit.

Ce: (Distracted) Heh. Poop-deck.

The End.

Ce: Wait! Wait! I’m sorry. I’ll be serious from now on.

Scene: In the middle of the ocean, a solitary pirate ship rocks listlessly in the soft afternoon breeze. A cloudless azure sky shows no promise of favorable sailing weather.

The rigging softly flaps and rattles. All is calm.

Tp: Okay. I’ll go along with this even if it’s out of pure instinctive self-preservation. Which brings us to our first point. Ahem. Blimey! There’s no wind, and the steam engine probably hasn’t been invented yet. So how are we going to get to Adam’s birthday party?

Ce: You mean Adam’s thirty-first? That he’s having this Friday (9th)?

Tp: Yes, Captain Elvis, that’s the one. Gosh, I’m really looking forward to his party as I hear there will be bowling. It is, after all, being held at Rosemount Bowl. Like so many of our peers, I certainly delight in knocking over wooden (or sometimes plastic) pins with balls of various weight.

Ce: You have balls of various weight?

Tp: Captian. You promised.

Ce: Sorry. Momentary lapse. Now, where were we?

Tp: (Composes himself.) Captain, I wonder what wonderous plans Adam has for his birthday party?

Ce: Well, Templeton, I hear it’s going to be a theme party. How exciting!

Tp: Yes. It is going to be very good. Have you heard? The theme is: Eurotrash! Characteristics associated with Eurotrash include snootiness, overly extravagant dress and hair-styling, and frequent unfavorable comparisons between America and Europe.

Ce: Eurotrash! Arr, that’s predicably brilliant, me old hound dog hearty. Trust Adam to come up with something so simultaneously amusing and sexy!

Tp: Yes, and … good …

Ce: We’re running out of ideas now aren’t we.

Tp: Quite so, old chap. (Pause.) On second thought, let’s not go. it’ll be pretty silly.

Ce: Do you think we can dress as pirates instead? I’m going to dress as a pirate instead.

Kung Fushus (Suddenly): Yes, you can dress as a pirate if you’d prefer. I wonder what present we should get Adam?

The End.

Next Time: Tune in for “The Adventures of Captain Elvis versus Noni Hazlehurst!”

1. Plurals don’t have apostrophes.

One apple. Two apples.

2. Apostrophes show ownership.

One apple’s seeds. Two apples’ seeds.

2.1. The exception is: “Its”

There is an apple. Its skin is red.

3. Sometimes apostrophes replace letters.

Don’t eat the apple. You won’t like it. It’s a bad apple.

4. Apostrophes and acronyms.

4.1. Never, never use apostrophes with plurals.

There are lots of DVDs, CDs and MMORPGs about apples.

4.2. It’s okay to use apostrophes for ownership and replacement.

The DVD’s title is: “WTF’s the deal with apples?”